System Error
by Mizu no Byakko
Summary: All thirteen members were facing the screen. 'SYSTEM ERROR: PLEASE CONTACT YOUR COMPUTER ADMINISTRATOR.'


**A/N: **Hello, it's me with yet another crackish KH fic. This was written during the 'error hours' of where I was really pissed off. So pissed off that I just had to write this. When _finally_, the document uploader decided to work, I put this up just for fun. I promise I'll update my other fic soon, so stay tuned, kthxbai.

System Error

Xemnas glared, neon orange eyes glowing with utter contempt, hatred, so much of it that it looked real. Even though it was pretense since he was a nobody. But the loathing seemed entirely reasonable, since everyone else around the Superior too had angry, contemptuous looks on their faces. Larxene, the sadist, bit her lip. Saix just glared. Axel looked annoyed. Demyx looked frightened, but pissed. Xaldin had one of his lances in his hands. Vexen's face looked like that of the Joker from Batman. Luxord frowned.

All thirteen members were facing the computer screen.

**SYSTEM ERROR: PLEASE CONTACT YOUR COMPUTER ADMINISTRATOR.**

The screen declared in large, red letters.

"This is highly unreasonable!" Xemnas roared, slamming his fist repeatedly onto the keypad until it begun to fizzle with electric sparks. "System error." The computer said in a robotic voice. "System error." It repeated. "This is starting to get on my nerves." Saix commented calmly. _Too_ calmly. His eyes begun to glow a faint yellow. "No way!" Demyx squeaked and hid behind Axel, who rolled his eyes. The computer, oblivious, continued its rant. "System error. System error. System error."

"I can't take any more!" Larxene shrieked, a bolt of white-hot electricity leaping from her fingertips and frying the CPU of the giant, MCP-like computer. There was the smell of charred wires, and for a moment, the computer was silent. And then..."System error." Beep. "System error." Beep. "Please contact your ._beep._ computer administrator." "Let's press all the buttons and see what happens." Demyx suggested helpfully. Without a second thought, Demyx pressed a large purple button to the left of the keypad. Immediately, a song begun to play.

_It's a small world after all..._

_It's a small world after all..._

_It's a--_

A large claymore was now embedded in the keypad. Torn wires stuck up from the giant cracks in the metal. "Why did you smash the keypad?" Demyx whined, giving Saix a look. "Because I hate that song." The diviner replied, as if everyone else also hated that song. Which they did. Except Demyx. "But I like that song..." The nocturne whined. "It gives me inspiration." Seeing as how everyone stared at him as if he were mentally impaired, Demyx cleared his throat. "On second thought, nevermind."

"System error."

_Beep._

"Computer, I am telling you one last time to _not_ give us that _bloody_ system error!"

Luxord yelled, shuffling his cards to relieve his frustrations. The others continued to glare, and glare, and glare at the screen. But the large red words weren't disappearing. "Let's go out for lunch." Xigbar said, knowing that destroying the computer wasn't going to help one bit. "Why, Xigbar, should we go out for lunch when this cursed computer won't help us with our schemes?!" Xemnas boomed. "Because you bought this computer at the cheap bargain sale for electronic goods." Lexaeus said, speaking the obvious. "Wait." Xemnas started. "How did you know that?"

"I have my sources."

Zexion smirked and counted the dollar notes in his hands.

Flashback.

_"Would you like this supercomputer, Sir? It's cheap, good and in excellent condition."_

_Xemnas looked around furtively, and then looked at the pile of computer parts suspiciously. "Are you sure it's good enough?" He asked. "Very sure, Sir. Seifer's Bargain Basement is always a good place for previously expensive electronic goods." Xemnas inspected the computer parts carefully, before looking up at the plump merchant. "Fine, I'll take it. Is it good for villainy?" "Very." The merchant said._

_As Xemnas left with the computer parts, the merchant smiled. And transformed into a very familiar nobody._

_"Tricked the Superior yet again." Zexion said to himself._

End Flashback.

Xemnas glowered at the computer as it, oblivious to its surroundings, continued repeating 'system error', followed by high-pitched beeping noises.

"NO. MORE. SYSTEM. ERROR!" 

Saix roared, swinging his claymore above his head and subsequently bringing it down onto the already-ruined computer keypad. With a loud bang and an electric fizzle, the screen went dead. "Good." The diviner said, tone returning to its normal range. "Good?! GOOD?! VII, you have just destroyed the entire computer!" The Superior fumed. Then the screen lit up.

"Supercomputerforevilmasterminds Model XIII activated. Welcome back, Xemnas."

-

**OWARI.**


End file.
